Why the smart mum always runs away from weekday invites

My worst nightmare is the weekday invite. I hate it when people invite me out on a weekday, and while they may be offended my constant refusal, let me explain to the non-parents why this is not an option.

It is a Thursday on Planet Parent.

Officially 1 more night left of being a sub-human.The weekend is near, and I cannot wait.

I hate weekdays. I really hate it.

It is like an endless cycle of doing stuff. The checklist is endless.

Get up after hitting the snooze button 3 times and drag your ass to the shower. And the day’s checklist starts:

  1. Buy more toothpaste.
  2. Have another polite conversation with your domestic worker, and ask her to please stop sticking the mysterious blue item in the wash with the white towels.
  3. Scratch that – buy new towels that are blue. That is easier than loosing the person that lovingly cleans your house. Cleaning yourself is not an option.
  4. Hatch a plan to buy the wonderful cleaning angel a gift, so she knows I love her.
  5. Remember to write down the list of stuff to buy for my new exciting dinner recipe!
  6. Zumba tonight, remember the gym bag
  7. Toddler needs more clothes at Gran’s, remember bag that was packed yesterday

Shower done! Find something to wear that does not require heels. Heels are the enemy! Changing your shoes when driving wastes about 10-15 minutes of precious time. And who has time to waste?

Realize you have a meeting and now have to wear the evil heels. And so it begins…your day. A day filled with mini events both good and bad.

  1. Do you hair, as in…. REALLY do your hair, since today you cannot just tie it up – due to the stupid meeting.
  2. Locate the make up, cover up all dark circles and MAC yourself into a human being.
  3. Add make up touch up items to your handbag.
  4. Remove any kiddie items from  your handbag, no one needs a repeat of toy monkey falling out in the middle of a presentation.
  5. Put shoes on toddler
  6. Deal with toddler tantrum over the fact these are the wrong shoes.
  7. Take the toddler to pee.
  8. Calmly tell the toddler that the toilet will not swallow them.
  9. Distract the toddler with a toy in order to get all items ready for the car.
  10. Pack the car
  11. Go back inside to get your precious bundle, and discover that she wants to watch “Barbie and the Secret Door” AGAIN!
  12. Explain she can watch it at Gran.
  13. Deal with the tantrum.
  14. Get tears and boogers all over you dress.
  15. Grab some wet wipes for damage control before stupid meeting
  16. Strap toddler in car seat and distract with car toys.
  17. Sit in traffic for 30 minutes.
  18. Hand toddler over to your wonderful, fantastic, irreplaceable mum, while thanking God that you have her in your life
  19. Get asked by toddler: “Why do you have to go to work?”
  20. Bite your tongue and realize: 3 year old’s do not know what “economy” means.
  21. Feel guilty about being a working mum. Beat yourself up mentally while you sit in traffic for another 30 mins
  22. Get to work and get the “look” from the single, polished girls who are judging you for arriving at work so “late”.
  23. Spend the day rushing between meetings and emails and running a department.
  24. Try to be as efficient as possible and show no sign of weakness.
  25. Sneak a few calls to baby and hubby.
  26. Find my working mum friend and sneak in a bitch session. Feel better that you are not alone
  27. Rush out the office at 5pm.
  28. Ignore the looks of annoyance from said single, polished girls
  29. Get to gym in time for your class.
  30. Decide you have to cut down on the sugar and carbs.
  31. Run out the class and rush to fetch toddler.
  32. Sit in more of the beautiful Jo’burg traffic.
  33. Deal with toddler deciding Gran’s house is better your house.
  34. Bribe toddler to come home.
  35. Sit in…YES YOU GUESSED IT….more f@#king traffic.
  36. Get to the store that opens till 8pm (Thank God!)
  37. Find out that the shop does not have the fancy bullshit ingredients, in the fancy bullshit recipe you decided to try. Acknowledge that this was not a good time to become Nigella.
  38. Use lots of profanity, and then decide to make some pasta.
  39. Try not to feel guilty that you made pasta again.
  40. Find comfort in the fact that the toddler enjoyed the store experience.
  41. Get home and unpack the kid and everything else from the car.
  42. Get supper on the go.
  43. Take some time to just love your tiny, little person.
  44. Feel the relief that comes with hubby arriving home. Feel even more grateful when he takes over babysitting and sets the table.
  45. Serve dinner and relax
  46. Enjoy NOT TALKING about your day. Talking about your day is not an option. Leave work at work. Talk about anything else.
  47. Finally unwind because it is just the 3 of you. Let the stress monster go.
  48. Bask in your supreme intelligence, over having rejected all weekday dinner invites and eat a chocolate.

A Day at the Park

Spinning around and around and around
No way to stop,
It may just be a roundabout designed for children
But it feels as if fate controls it,
My heart jumps, my soul laughs,
My heart fears, my soul sighs

Since the night I saw the pain in his gentle eyes,
I knew that this pain would never measure up to the pain that you felt when I shattered your heart.
But I saw it fading,
I felt god’s hand at work, pushing us together again
I made a promise never to hurt you again,
To be what I never allowed myself to be.

A week later
But it seems like an eternity
Three months seem like a lifetime

I come back to the present
We still spinning
He is laughing
We going faster and faster and faster
Sinking deeper and deeper and deeper
We jump off

I look into his eyes, and I see everything that ever mad sense
Yet the situation makes no sense

My heart fears
My heart cries
My heart prays
I ask god why?

Don’t let it end,
Don’t take him away again
He is where I belong
I was destined for great things,
Where better to belong than the Garden of Eden

You soul’s lesson perhaps?

Respect my beliefs,
Even though they are not your beliefs,
Respect my fears,
Even though you have none, for your fears may be ones I have overcome,

Respect my mind,
My thoughts are mine alone, and they are sacred,
Respect my soul,
For this journey is mine to take
Your journey is yours, and what you are yet to learn, I may have learnt,

Respect my body,
This vessel is the delicate shell that holds my soul,
Respect my touch,
When I touch you, my soul makes my hand move,
My Vessel may be beautiful but as fragile as yours

Respect my friends,
They are the people that help me piece me together whenever love breaks me
Respect my family,
They are closer than blood, they are closer than flesh, their love is pure
My loved ones are not like yours, because my needs are different to yours,

Respect me,
I am different to you,
Respect that I am different to you,

Respect that even though I do not speak about the change,
It does not mean change is not happening,
The only constant in life is change,

Respect that you do not know me,
Let time lead to understanding,
Understanding leads to respect,

Try not to drown

People who fight the tide usually drown; it is those that choose to move with the current that land up on desert islands. The reason is that those that fight the tide get tired of threading water. Then again getting swept away by the tide could mean that you could drown anyway, but at least you didn’t die scared and tired.

The thing about life is that you ultimately threading water whether you like it or not. I mean there is no person in the world that can lay claim to never being affected in some way by the struggles that are inherently part of human existence. It is how we choose to deal with these struggles that count.

It is apparent in many facets of our lives. Be it financial debts, ruined relationships, abuse that was put upon them, loneliness, and lack of understanding. The lists of peoples separate pains are infinite. And the most important thing to remember is that your pain is never bigger or more important than someone else’s.

If you are overcoming a death, remember that even though the people in your life have problems that you do not see as important, does not mean that they are not important to them. Everyone’s problems are big because in their realm of existence it is causing distress. Yes they may not understand the magnitude of your feeling but that is because they are not experiencing what you are experiencing.

Have ever looked back at events in your life and thought, I am glad that it turned out that way? That is because those events were meant to turn out like that because it was your destiny. Remember that at any point you can switch from fear to faith. Have faith that the tide will take you exactly where you are meant to be and that the right people will appear in your life at the right time and that you will think just before you die ”Man I glad that it turned out that way”

The Free World

There are often times when you feel so trapped in your own web of decisions that you feel like there are no doors or windows and that no matter how bad things get you just have to stay.

I often wonder why you get to this point, and I realize it is because your life is based on what society calls consideration. If you choose to just live your life, you will either be immoral or selfish.

All these people that form apart of your life, live their lives based on ideals that have been instilled in them by numerous sources. We all have expectations of each other. You may think that this does not apply to you? Think carefully about what you would like to achieve in life.

Whether it be to raise “good” children, that excel at the system that we have put in place, filled with expectations. Or the relationship that you hope to build with the person who would suit you best, traits that are build on what you believe will make you happy. What about your career, there is certain conduct and job responsibilities that you have to perform in order to get paid and buy the things that make the rest of society think you are successful. It is all about status and comfort. You only have the friends that you have because they can allow you to experience certain moments that you feel are important.

All in all, we are a society build on expectations, rules and guidelines that will govern our happiness forever. Makes me wonder about the term “Free World

Limbo

I don’t want to let go
I don’t want to move on
I hate the Limbo
I hate the pain

I don’t know why I hold on
I don’t know why I don’t let go
But I Know
That I know why

We don’t like to see
We don’t like to face
We just want to make excuses
We all want to be right

Maybe I love the drama
Maybe I just love you
Maybe I just like the fact that I love you
Maybe I just like the fact that you love me

I know the answers
But I don’t want to open the book and see
I want to live in Limbo just a little longer
Limbo means it’s just you and me

Free to be

The greatest freedom you can encounter in life is to cut all your labels,

We are often defined by the people in our lives; you are someone’s daughter, someone’s sister/brother, someone’s friend, someone’s partner. And with these labels comes the responsibilities, perceptions, opinions and beliefs that will define you in some way or the other.

If you just cut those labels, you can nothing to no one and that would mean that you would not be defined, and maybe with a lack of a definition you can finally decide who you want to be.